Foster 4.0

The funeral

So, the funeral was great, well as great as funerals are. Two of my cousins spoke and another one played the violin. It was a beautiful service. Henry B Eyring was a personal friend to my uncle Steve and asked if he could speak. It was truly amazing! It was really like sitting in on him giving personal council to this grieving family. He said some really amazing things and things that they, as well as all of us, needed to hear. They were things I've never heard said at a funeral. I really felt the spirit in that meeting and I KNOW that those were true words spoken by a man of God.

It's just so stupid...

These are my cousins, Meagan, Sarah, Katelyn, Michael, Elizabeth and Ben. The oldest being 20 and the youngest only 6. On Monday my 50 year old uncle Steve died of a heart attack in his home.

This is so devastating! My sweet aunt is a mess, with out question, and her kids...I mean you can imagine. Sudden death is such a crazy, stupid thing.

I am just about to leave for his viewing and can only imagine what it will be like. He has been either bishop or in the bishop rick since 1996/97 and at the time of his death he was a counselor in a singles ward. He has had such a personal impact on so many lives in the last 10 years. This is really going to be sad.

I have to say that death and funerals are not foreign for me and my family. Although I have been blessed with not having a immediate member of my family pass away, but I have had many that I love and care about and think about often even today. My sister and I were talking about our first memories of a funeral and it was "Nana" , my great grandma's sister. She must have died in about 1990..that would have made me 6 or 7. My memory of that is vivid. Even the color of blue that lined the casket. In third grade my friend, Clint, his 2 sisters and their mom was found dead in their house. That was crushing. My mom took us to the funeral because they were our friends. Jamie was in 1st grade with the youngest Crissie. Since then I've been pretty obsessed with death. But never wanting to die or anything, just really interested in it. The older I get and the more I have to lose when it comes to the matter the more I just want to push it out of my life and mind. I'm trying to think about how may I've been to.

OK, five of them were great grandparents '93,'94,'98,'03,'07

1998 was a hard year for us. My 17 year old cousin Mandi died in a drunk driving accident. Which was totally devastating and totally rocked my world. My great grandma of old age and my grandma Paige and her husband (not a grandpa for me) died in a car accident.

One of my best friends, JLs mom passed away when we were 16, I must admit that I think of her almost daily. She was a great friend to me and I often think about things she would say in certain situations and hope that she is still around. I believe that she is.

In 2002 Jara and Ali died in a car accident, they were close friends to my sister Jamie and I knew them quite well.

And I've been a supportive friend in 4 friends lives who have either had grandparents of parents die also. I feel like it's those funerals that really help me to reevaluate my life without feeling over come with grief.

Trav's grandpa, whom he LOVED and respected died last year as well as my Uncle Nels.   

Although I didn't feel a personal loss in a couple of these deaths, I really feel for the people that DO feel that constant void because of the loss of the loved one. I really allow myself to put myself into their situations and when I realize how difficult life will be for them at times of weddings, other funerals, basically daily life I mourn for them.