This will come as no surprise to those of you who have known me for a long time, but I must admit that I am a little bit obsessed with death. For example I've written and re-written my obituary like 8 million times. If Trav isn't answering his phone for like the 5th hour that day, (Which for Travis isn't unusual, actually quite typical) his funeral replays in my head over and over in my pretty little head. (morbid I know)... It really surprising to me that Trav and I don't have a will or even life insurance. Because I'm often thinking about when it's going to happen.
This last week hasn't been helping my little obsession. First I was reading my cousin Laura's blog and found out about these two families who have lost children in tragic accidents, Ava and Lucy. These two families have been on my mind almost constantly since last week and then today while catching up on Cairens blog she had a link to one of her friends who lost their baby Camille.
I'm in need of an intervention. I'm consumed with grief for these families. Families that I don't even know. I truly feel as if these untimely deaths have effected me personally. I woke up like 3 time last night to check on Audrey. I guess hoping that she didn't die of S.I.D.S or something. (Yeah I know that she couldn't)
I guess what I need to take out of this is to hold my babies closer and be sweet and kind as much as possible. I just know that I couldn't live with myself WISHING that I had done things differently if something were to happen, ya know?
Great, thanks. Now I had to go and read those. I am sleeping in Connor's room tonight and never letting him out of my sight again! j/k, but really, we are so blessed and it reminds me that I need to enjoy every moment with him, even the hard ones!
Posted by: Lindsey Black | Monday, June 16, 2008 at 09:16 PM
I am glad to know I am not the only one who gets consumed with these things. I am constantly planning what I would do if Ben died. Where would I live? Where would I work? Could I provide for my kids? How would I get all my stuff back to Utah? Why do I think about this when it probably won't happen.
I too need to just live in the moments of life and not always think what if.
Posted by: Laura | Monday, June 16, 2008 at 09:51 PM
Don't worry about confessing about thinking about all of that stuff. I think about it every day. I am weird that way. You can go to my blog and read about my Grandma who just passed away. I think about death all the time, I am not depressed, I am just curiouse about it. My brother died in my arms when I was 7 years old, he was 5 when he passed. Funny thing actually that I know sell life insurance. lol By the way if you don't know who I am, I played football with #52, Travis! I found your blog linked to my wifes good friends blog, Jamie Nielsen. Drop by our blog sometime..
Posted by: Bryan #51 | Tuesday, June 17, 2008 at 11:21 AM